Spotlight And Guest Post By Author Kizzy K. Johnson ~ Coffee Shop Therapist

For author Kizzy K. Johnson, the idea of coffee and the way people communicate inspired her to write a book, “Coffee Shop Therapist: Sound Advice For Life’s Spills.” “I'm all about showing people how to begin the conversations they tend to avoid,” says Kizzy.

The book takes taboos, stigmas and controversial topics head on, one story at a time. Each story begins with someone unsure of how to approach a sensitive topic and ends with Kizzy showing them how to face it, tell the truth and get the truth. Sometimes it’s blunt, and sometimes it’s even messy but it’s always necessary.

Follow the author as she gives advice on issues like Open-Relationships, Homosexuality, Addiction and Adultery. After reading “Coffee Shop Therapist; Sound Advice for Life’s Spills” you’ll be able to wipe up your own life spills. Everyone has had to either avoid or face one or more of the topics discussed in this book. If you want to stop avoiding them, stop feeling ashamed, stop feeling unsure or confused on how to approach them then “Coffee Shop Therapist: Sound Advice for Life’s Spills” shows you how to do just that.

Coffee Shop Therapist: Sound Advice for Life’s Spills is more than just an “advice” book, it’s a “how to get past it all” book. This book is filled with witty, candid and heart-felt stories of people seeking Kizzy’s advice.The author takes us on a journey as she converses with strangers, friends and family on how to move past pain, admit their insecurities, take accountability for their actions and realize what true communication is.

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Guest Post:
1. Knowing Your Lover’s Conversation Type is just as important as knowing your blood type. Your lover’s conversation type will impact the frequency and depth of any conversation you have with him/her. Knowing their conversation type will help you have more fulfilling conversations.

2. Space Jam is strictly prohibited. Sometimes when we have things we want our lovers to share, we are persistent, sometimes to the point of nagging. Do not do that; give your lover their space. If they want to talk, they will. All you can do is be supportive by letting them know you are there to listen when they are ready. . You cannot make people talk, so do not try.

3. Pay attention to the proverbial mood ring. It may not be as easy as looking down at a finger and knowing their mood but it is worth investing the time in learning the signs of your lover’s different moods. Pay attention to their behavior, their words, and the body language before jumping into a discussion. Do not try discussing additions to the house when he/she is visibly upset about something else.

4. Stop rolling your neck and eyes, grow up why do not you. No one ever had a productive heartfelt conversation when they felt they were being attached by judgment or sarcasm. There is a time and place for everything and if you want to have meaningful communication with your lover, remove these two.

5. Leave sleeping dogs where they lie. Do not bring up past hurt, pain, or transgressions. If you have talked about a past action of indiscretion, do not bring it up in your present. You should
find a way to work out those issues on your own. No one wants to keep revisiting old mistakes after they have apologized and moved on.

6. Defense does not win this game. Do not be a defensive or selective listener when dealing with your lover. The objective of listening is to fully pay attention to the pulse of your lover’s heart. You cannot do that if you are busy jotting down mental notes of their weakness and faults only to use them when it is your turn to speak.

7. Taking notes are allowed, it is not a test. You cannot pre plan every conversation you have with your lover (wouldn’t that be nice) but for those milestone conversations (having children, getting married, moving in) know the points you want to get across. Do not be afraid of writing them down.

8. Everyone is to blame, except me. Own your own feelings, don’t riddle the conversation with you did this, you said this, you made me feel like this. If it is their fault then what is the point of having a conversation to talk about how to fix things? Just email them a list of things you need them to do and a deadline as if they are your assistant, why do not you. .

9. Look into the windows of the soul. Nothings worse than pouring your heart out to a lover only to find them updating their status, tweeting or checking email. Put down the cyber world and be present in the moment of the real world.

10. Food for thought. Just like setting the mood for a romantic night in, set the mood for an intense conversation by having wine, cheese and crackers in arm’s length. Maybe you will use it as space filler; maybe you will use it as a peace offering. However you use it, consider using food to aid you in discussing important topics.

Kizzy K. Johnson

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